Since losing my Dad I've spent sometime talking to a counsellor about bereavement. It's been a good way of talking through my thought processes and relieving some of the stress and tension. She made a comment to me very early on which a couple of months later I wanted to explore. "In Britain we don't…
Happy Birthday Pops!
Yesterday would've been Poppa M's birthday, last year we marked the occasion as it was the first one since he passed. Nothing too special, we just had his favourite curry for dinner and my mum came round to join us. We chatted about him and had a laugh, to be honest as the first of…
You learn who your friends are
The title may sound negative, however it's not meant that way at all. When you go through 2 of the most challenging and life changing events that I've focused this blog on, you learn who your friends are. Now, yes when my Dad died I had a fair few people who I did feel let…
A visit in my dreams
Last night my Dad came to see me, he sat on the sofa and cuddled and played with my little girl like any doting Grandad would. Then I woke up and the realisation that it was just a dream hit me hard like a cold slap across the face. Just over a year on I'm…
He wasn’t superman, he was just my Dad…
I was watching a documentary on George Michael and he was asked how he would’ve like to be remembered and this made think about how I want to remember my Dad and how I want to describe him to my daughter. Truthfully, that’s how. I don’t want to portray my Dad as Superman or a…
Being a parent without a parent.
This evening I had a FaceTime call with my mum to see that she’d landed safely at my brothers (after a long delay during her flight transfer) and speak to my beautiful nephews (unfortunately one was out with my sister-in-law but the other gave me some lovely smiles whilst chasing bubbles round the garden). What…
Caught off guard.
Grief is a strange process, you have good days and bad days, ups and downs and rotate around a mix of every emotion going. I've being living by the mantra, one day at a time, waking up each morning and facing whatever particular feeling it is I'm faced with that day. Sometimes though, it's not…
Another perspective…
I found this blogger's thoughts interesting, it suggests that happy grief enables you to remember someone and enjoy those memories and happy thoughts whilst missing them. Happy Grief What do you think about happy grief? Maybe in time I'll learn to feel more happy grief and this will help me cope. Because it's all about…
Back to Reality
At some point you have to get back into 'normal' routine, at some point you have to stop living in a grief bubble and you have to go back to work, back to routine, back to hobbies, you have to get back on with 'normal' life. Only it won't be normal (what is normal anyway-I…
Angry that I feel angry
When I started this blog I outlined a couple of rules/guidelines to myself, one of which was not to use bad language (I didn't think it fair/appropriate to swear in a post). Today is an exception, I feel it necessary to curse! This is because losing a parent is shit, really fucking shit! It's so…
Learning to Cope 