Since losing my Dad I've spent sometime talking to a counsellor about bereavement. It's been a good way of talking through my thought processes and relieving some of the stress and tension. She made a comment to me very early on which a couple of months later I wanted to explore. "In Britain we don't…
Happy Birthday Pops!
Yesterday would've been Poppa M's birthday, last year we marked the occasion as it was the first one since he passed. Nothing too special, we just had his favourite curry for dinner and my mum came round to join us. We chatted about him and had a laugh, to be honest as the first of…
You learn who your friends are
The title may sound negative, however it's not meant that way at all. When you go through 2 of the most challenging and life changing events that I've focused this blog on, you learn who your friends are. Now, yes when my Dad died I had a fair few people who I did feel let…
A visit in my dreams
Last night my Dad came to see me, he sat on the sofa and cuddled and played with my little girl like any doting Grandad would. Then I woke up and the realisation that it was just a dream hit me hard like a cold slap across the face. Just over a year on I'm…
What to read?
I wrote the other day about how I wanted my Dad to be remembered. I’ve thought about this more than I realised and it started when I decided to do a reading for him at his funeral. I didn’t want the funeral to go ahead without something personal done for him, we’d decided to have…
He wasn’t superman, he was just my Dad…
I was watching a documentary on George Michael and he was asked how he would’ve like to be remembered and this made think about how I want to remember my Dad and how I want to describe him to my daughter. Truthfully, that’s how. I don’t want to portray my Dad as Superman or a…
Being a parent without a parent.
This evening I had a FaceTime call with my mum to see that she’d landed safely at my brothers (after a long delay during her flight transfer) and speak to my beautiful nephews (unfortunately one was out with my sister-in-law but the other gave me some lovely smiles whilst chasing bubbles round the garden). What…
That day.
Writing about the day my Dad died is a strange feeling. I've known deep down that I wanted to post about it but haven't been ready to for awhile and I don't know that I am now but the words have started to flow and I feel this sudden urge to, so I'll continue. I'd…
Shameless Fundraising Plug
When I lost my Dad I felt the need to do stuff, a bit of a coping mechanism, particularly once the funeral was over. I needed to find stuff to do, not just anything, I found work, my masters studying, working out at the gym and socialising with friends difficult. Not alway, but a lot…
Caught off guard.
Grief is a strange process, you have good days and bad days, ups and downs and rotate around a mix of every emotion going. I've being living by the mantra, one day at a time, waking up each morning and facing whatever particular feeling it is I'm faced with that day. Sometimes though, it's not…
Learning to Cope 