Time flies doesn’t it, this time 5 years ago I was battling tongue tie feeding issues, feeling like a milking machine surrounded by pumps, frozen breastmilk, formula, bottles and nipple cream. It was one hell of a time as me and my new born had a tough and sometimes teary start to motherhood and I thought it was never going to get any better. Now, I’m jumping back into the car following the school run, turning up Biggie Smalls or Beyonce as I drive off leaving her to practise her phonics and graphemes.

Little P is most definitely not baby P anymore and I’m soon going to have to drop the little. She’s growing up and things are changing. Parenting is different, I can’t solve things as easily anymore, she’s to find her own way as she makes new friends and learns how to handle things and in reality this is only the start of it. She’s still only 5, there’ll be more of the big bad world for her to face but that’s not really my worry or why I’m writing. If anything, I’ve wanted to write out of pride, because Little P has an air of confidence, sass and carefreeness (is that even a word???) that I don’t.

I’ve said it so many times before, she’s brave, so brave and bold (and bolshy with a capital B) which has meant she’s done exactly as expected and started school like a walk in the park. Ok yeah on the first day she had a moment of sudden nerves, as she step over the threshold into the classroom she internalised her fear but squeezed Granny’s hand in an anxious moment of “whoa I’m not ready for this” but other than that she skipped in happily ready and raring to go, because she’d been ready for so long.

We say all the time that she’s just like me which she is but actually, she’s not she’s better. I laughed with my older brother about some of her reactions to things and as much as I forget the story now, I remember the shock on his face as I said she didn’t react like I would’ve done to something, because as much as her personality is so much like mine, there’s elements of his blasé attitude that she’s picked up even though he’s thousands of miles away. I’m so glad though, like all of us mums, we want our children to learn for our mistakes and misgivings and it would seem little P is hopefully not turning out to be as much of a fretter as I am (mind you worrying as much as I do is pretty hard to top!).

It’s not all been plain sailing though, the change of routine is taking it’s toll on us both, we’re 5 weeks in and still despite the number of weeks, things like Twilight training sessions, open evenings, burst ear drums and midnight trips to the out of hours clinic have meant each week has had something making it different and I don’t think we’ve had a “normal” week yet. That’s life though isn’t it and true to my previous words, little P takes it in her stride (bar the overtired nonsensical tantrums and bedtime avoidance tactics) whereas I finish the week a little dishevelled with a much needed wine in hand! Part of the problem is I started the academic year with my mojo a little bit lost and off kilter but that’s a whole other blog post. The purpose of this one is a bit like previous ones, I need to learn to be a bit more P. I sometimes think we all do.

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