So little P did great this week, her separation anxiety issues took a huge step in the right direction. I mean there’s still hints of it there but we hit a massive milestone when one day she skipped into childcare forgetting to give kisses and a cuddle goodbye.
Now in my last post I asked for advice, a rarity for me in my writing but the whole upset situation was bothering me. Thankfully so many of my readers reached out, mostly telling me what deep down I already knew, keep loving her, reassuring her and just preserving. Standard mum practice isn’t it?
Then one day this week a fellow mum, a bit newer to it all than me said she was constantly worrying that she wasn’t doing enough for her little one…don’t we all!! I gave her the wise words of the legend that is Granny T, who turned to me when little P was still teeny tiny baby P only a few weeks (possibly days) old. She turned to me and said, “just love her” when I was having a “what the hell do I do?” moment.
This is so true even now, when little P has been having some emotional struggles. All I can do really is love her. It’s what she needs more than anything. Well aside from food water and sleep, those are pretty important too! But 3 and a half years on after battling tongue tie feeding issues and problems with her weight gain, teething traumas and nightmare febrile seizures, the battles we face now aren’t so practically fixable. Things now are about her emotions. They’re about her behaviour and her reactions and responses to the people around her. And I’m not always there, physically where she is to swoop in and sort it. She’s got to figure stuff out for herself.
This is only going to get more and more the case as she gets older. There’ll be school bullies, teenage traumas, friendships and romantic relationships and all the rest of it to deal with as she grows older and older. Thank goodness at the moment I’m just dealing with what went down with her friends in the den at playtime (me and the mum gang never did get to the bottom of that) because as I think of what lies ahead I dread it! Really though, ultimately all I can do is love, nurture and firmly and fairly guide her in the right direction and hope that with the right boundaries and support/lessons she figures it all out right for herself in her own mind. Because all I need to do really is love her.
It’s the foundation of what you give your kids isn’t it? I mean I don’t think my mum and dad too bad did they? I’ve made some mistakes and dealt with my fair share of shit in my life but I know I can trust myself to be ok and come out of the other side of things. Because they both loved me and I know they didn’t always get parenting “right” I mean Poppa M was sometimes a downright liability (Yorkshire’s Uncle Buck) but he did love us, I’ve said it before, for all his misgivings and faults, he loved us very much.
So thank you for my mum gang and friends, you’ve emotionally propped us up this week and the picture has been brighter…busier and one hell of a week at work…but brighter and we’ve just both loved each other. Little P is a happier bunny. All she needs is love.