Little P isn’t so little anymore. This week has been emotional, well let’s face it being a mum is emotional. This week though, it’s really hit me how grown up toddler P is, in fact, she’s not a toddler anymore, she’s a girl. My baby has lost her baby features, looks and in mentality. She’s growing up and it’s so wonderful and heartbreaking all at once, I’m filled with gushing pride but also bittersweet heartache as I wish that the days would just go a little slower and that time would just last a little bit longer. The nights are long but the years oh they are so so short.
So back to this week, well she started her new pre-school, my goodness, pre-school, the S word is involved in that and this time next year will be S word prep. Thank god I get an extra year due to her being a September baby. She wasn’t supposed to be though but when I went into my 10th month of pregnancy (yeah the pregnancy that was never ending!) it was clear she was going to be in a different school year than we thought. But reality is hitting home, these little girl baby years are rapidly coming to an end. She’s growing up.
Now I’ve said it before and I know I’m very very lucky, P is a clever girl and has a thirst for learning, she’s already trying to learn to read and write, she wants to be able to do things she sees grown ups and her older friends do. I’m trying best to just go with the flow, foster her interest without being pushy. But what actually amazes me more is her strength of character. I often don’t give her enough credit for her ambition, her determination, resilience and confidence. She’s becoming a kind and loving little girl with an inner strength that quite frankly I’m sometimes very envious of.
She was so excited about her first morning at pre-school (don’t worry she’s still going to her legendary childminder as well, we’ll never be ready to give up crazy Aunty M) that she was practically bouncing off the walls with glee. Granny T had to take and sent me the obligatory first day photo stood in front of the door with follow up texts on how she’d gone on. In short she loved it, she skipped in bright and breezy without a care in the world and then moaned at having to leave and come home. She bossed it. It reminded me that I forget sometimes just how strong she is, how she’ll take change in her stride, push herself forward and seize the moment. She did the same as she started her ballet classes, skipped in on her own as I waved from outside the door due to Covid restrictions, then she ran out afterwards loving her new class and teacher. P has a lust for life and has the confidence to not need to cling to my side knowing I’ll be there open armed at the end of class.
The thing is, she showed me this determination and strength from such a young age. When we struggled with feeding issues she fought, she really fought with me to get to the bottom of the issue. She was a little fighter doing whatever she could to gain enough milk to keep going. It was hard but despite her growth issues her development still came on in leaps and bounds because she’s a determined and tough little cookie.
I need to learn from her, I say it a lot, but I do. She’s so carefree, spontaneous and brave. I need to sometimes think “what would P do?” when I’m getting in a tizz or stressed because quite frankly, she’s breeze it, she’s got a thick skin and a confidence that we all should envy. She faces things head on and will not give up trying until she’s nailed something. It’s really nice to watch and I often don’t give her enough credit for the positive personality traits she’s developing.
She’s the confidence a three year old girl in whatever dress up costume she sports that day, she’s a superstar and I’m not afraid this week to say, I’m so bloody proud of her and how she breezes through life happy, determined and confident.