“I were gonna” an ever popular phrase of Poppa M, so much so that for years and years me and my mum nicknamed him I were gonna. It was because well he was always going to do a lot of things but these false promises quiet often, never came into fruition. From presents he “were gonna” buy to places he “were gonna” take us to or things he “were gonna” do.

I promised myself I would never be a “were gonna” but then after marrying someone with a similar trait, I also started to follow suit. I’m now the opposite, if I want something or I’m going to do something I do, I just get on with it. I don’t wait around for people. Because what’s the point? Can’t waste your life waiting for things.

I think it’s partly being a single mum that’s reinforced this. A friend who’s also on her own with her kids once said to me in the early days of me adjusting to single motherhood, “I don’t wait around for people” and I get where she’s coming from. I particularly feel it around times like Christmas. There so many family events and trips to do nice festive things and more often that not friends offer for me and toddler P to join them. Which is nice, really nice because it can feel a tad lonely when there’s just the two of you, or at least it did it the first years, now it’s not so bad but I do enjoy it when I can go along with others. Often though these offers can end up being “were gonnas” and not actually happening and then we’ve waited and sometimes missed out because things have finished or booked up etc. When you’re on your own if you don’t just get up and go for it, you can spend your life just waiting around for people and missing out and watching life pass by.

It’s bit like a previous post I wrote about being responsible for your own happiness if you insist on being a “were gonna” then you’ll have lived a life based on plans that don’t get carried out. It’s about seizing the day and the moment and grabbing opportunities when you can so you can make the most of things.

I’ve always been like it at work, don’t talk about doing things, do them. We can plan and intend to do things but no establishment or industry wants to base their successes or intentions or plans unless they are implemented. Who praises a brand, CEO or organisation for what they “were gonna” do rather than what they’ve actually accomplished. I like working with and for doers, those that not only have ideas, intentions and plans but that actually put them into place.

I’m a bit like that with the friends I choose too, I like to surround myself with friends that have some get up and go. Those close to me are similar in nature, they don’t promise things, they do them. When they suggest a social event, it gets booked, the dates get set and we go for it. Those people are my kind of people.

Don’t do a Poppa M, don’t wait around for someone to give you happiness and get you out there and spend your life saying you “were gonna” get up or your arse bad jump to it, because no one else will.