I wrote awhile ago about being amazing and whilst my thoughts on this are still true, there’s more to it. Recently someone told me off for not taking a compliment and accepting that I should be proud of myself for what I’ve done and achieved for me and toddler P. Which I am. However, I’ve not really done anything that special.
You see this person complimented me on being so up beat despite the difficulties we’ve faced during lockdown and life in general for that matter. Which yes is good and I’m not under estimating myself or anyone else for staying positive during times of adversity but what I am saying is that in order to survive or in fact in order to flourish you have to.
I have no choice. I have to remain up beat because it is just me and toddler P against the world. If we’re going to enjoy life then we’ve to find the good in things. We’ve to get up, show up and make the god damn most of it. Life is too short and let’s face it too hard to let yourself get bogged down and sad over the hard stuff. Plus there’s always someone else worse off than you and facing a harder battle.
The way I see it is that in actual fact I’m not amazing as I said in that previous post I’m just doing what I had to do as a person and a mother. I also love being a mum, I know I jest about how hard it is, because, well yeah it is! Especially with 2 kittens climbing the curtains whilst little miss P shouts out “watch this mummy” for me to fake excitement as the same crap jump on one foot where she falls over! Quite frankly it’s carnage sometimes (don’t even ask about the Lego piece in the washing machine) but I do love it. I love making tuff trays and creating arts and crafts for her. I love teaching her to ride a bike and pretending there’s dinosaurs in the back garden. I love being a mum, so no matter what life throws at us, I’m not going to let it stop me from loving it.
I guess that’s what it is really though isn’t it? Not letting the bad stuff stop you from loving the good. I didn’t set out to be a single mum like this but I am, so do I let that ruin my motherhood experience, no I embrace it and just plough through the chaos, flooded bathrooms and Mac make up over the bedroom carpet included, and enjoy the best bits. I’ve just had to adapt and create lifestyle changes to enable me to enjoy being a single mum as much as I can.
That’s what’s key, adjusting your lifestyle to take on whatever it is you’ve got to learn to cope and live with. I’ve close friends who had to handle all sorts, whether it’s been conditions they or their children have been diagnosed with, job changes and redundancies, marital break ups, family members lost, you name it they’ve had to deal with it. We all have in some way shape or form. But what I notice most is those that are happiest are those that have accepted they cannot change what situations and difficulties life has thrown at them and then altered their lifestyle to make it work. They’ve chosen to be happy despite the crap they’ve to wade through and deal with.
So I guess in a way I am proud of myself and what I’ve achieved but I’m proud more so because I’ve chosen to make myself happy. I’ve chosen to enjoy my life and situation despite the challenges brought to me.
I’m proud and I’m happy because I’ve chosen to be.