There’s so much I can learn from toddler P, she’s confident, full of sass and completely lives in the moment waking up excited each day because it’s a new day and just being awake and alive in her world is fun, really fun! Her confidence means she thinks she can take on the world and tells me daily that she can do everything “I-self.” I mean seriously, she’s 2 and a half and is already learning to dress herself, albeit her vest goes on back to front and her t-shirt inside out but she’s getting there and failing isn’t an option, diva P will keep on going until she’s cracked it.
The fact is she is determined, she wants to learn, she’s ambitious and wants to do everything herself, butter her toast, wash her own hair. You name it, she wants try doing it herself.
Well recently I took on her doing i-self confidence and did something new all by myself. I bought a car. I walked into the dealers, discussed the options, haggled and negotiated until I got the best offer that I was happy with. I test drove, I questioned features and mechanics. Best of all I did it, I-self. I’ve only ever taken Poppa M or my ex-husband with me before. They did the important talking bits, I was just there to decide if I liked the colour, if the boot was big enough for all my wardrobe options to be taken on trips away and sign on the dotted line. This time I did the research, the negotiations, the testing and everything myself, I read the small print and looked for the loop holes or terms and conditions I may not be happy with.
Just like the other things I’ve been doing by myself, the garden landscaping, the home DIY, the fixing a leak, the trips to dump crap at the tip, everything I’ve done that were “man jobs” either because of the physical nature or stereotypically male knowledge needed, I’ve done by myself. Doing them has been more than just the job itself, it’s been an achievement and a step forward in my confidence, independence and strength.
So driving home in my new wheels was a little bit extra exciting because I did it with my “Good as hell” soundtrack playing, sporting my hair toss, checking my nails, putting the car in gear and driving off once again into the sunset to enjoy my life with toddler P, the kid that teaches me so much everyday. The reality was I’d felt like rubbish all day and drove home cautiously in the new car ready to bath P and jump into my sick bed once she was asleep, but the mindset was still there.
The fact is, I’m at the point, I have been for a long time. I can do it I-self and I can do it well and for now I don’t need to teach toddler P that, because she’s reminding me of it.