I’m sure we’ve all fallen victim to the Regina George clique during our teens, but what about when the mean girls strike when you’re an adult?
This famous film highlights how cruel and bitchy high school girls can be, how hard it is to “fit in” and be yourself when everyone is expecting you to follow a trend. How a school girl’s selfish desire to be liked and popular can be the undoing of others happiness and well being. However, this isn’t just reminiscent of our school girl days, I have and I am witnessing it in adult life.
I recently had an explicit moment of it, someone’s jealousy and bitchiness reared it’s ugly head right to my face and I’m proud to say I rose above it, didn’t retaliate but silently began the distancing and releasing of the person from my personal life. It did of course make me thoughtful and ponder why?
Why do we feel the need to bring others down when we see their success or happiness? Why do we feel the need to slate others because of their different lifestyle choices, interests, looks or career path and why do we feel the need to crush their spirit?
Someone said to me it’s jealousy, it’s the feeling of disdain at someone having something you want. But is that fair and is it the way we should live our lives? Should we let our envy turn into so much jealousy that we feel the need to hurt said person.
If I take back to the scenario that prompted me to write this post, said person could be perceived as being in a better position than me, they’re not a single mum juggling work and toddler. They’re in the practical sense better off than me but are they happy? Is their lashing out at me actually a truer reflection of their own situation? I perceive them to be better off than me but actually their sharp remarks prove that they’re unhappy in their own life and jealous of the happiness and success I’m making of mine. Yet ironically, I’m well aware of the downfalls to me and my life because after all nothing and no one is perfect.
I have many friends who I could be jealous of and I’ll openly say I’m envious of many of my nearest and dearest but it’s a healthy envy. It doesn’t impact on our friendship, my well being or theirs, it’s a natural instinct to see there success and joy and wish I had it too but they also have their own struggles and battles to be dealing with. It’s more important for me to enjoy their achievements, after all if I can take enjoyment out of the happiness of others close to me then it’s a pretty poor do and I also need to accept that they’ll view my life in someways through rose tinted glasses and see elements of my life as being better than theirs but also certain aspects as being more challenging. It’s the way of the world.
I’ve spoken before about my Mummies group chat, it’s my lifeline and a gang of girl that I can turn to when I need to. We don’t bitch and we’re not mean girls. We’re a lifeline. One of them on two occasions really lifted me up-I tell a lie, most do regularly but this girl sent a heartfelt message to me praising me as a mum and then another time made a fly away comment about me managing this motherhood thing on my own and I don’t think she’ll understand the gravity in what she said. It gave me the biggest confidence boost ever, it made me feel like I really do have this shit and that it’s worth doing, most of all because I respect and value her opinion.
I seem to witness the mean girl culture a lot though, at work, with friends, with mum’s at play group, the girls at dancing. There’s always someone somewhere ready to find a chink in your armour. But believe me, this girl always straightens her crown and gets back up so I’ll continue to rise above the Regina George’s and stick with my girl gang who have my back as much as I have theirs.