I’ve just had a brilliant weekend with one of my lifelong friends. We were as thick as thieves during our Uni day’s getting up to hilarious antics, she’s a wicked sense of humour, is full of energy and tells it like it is and she’s someone who’s opinion I always valued.
This friend knows me well, she knows me for me, my likes dislikes, opinions and personality so when I value her opinion it’s because I know she’ll always take that into account. She’ll consider me and what I need to be told etc. We’ve spent the weekend catching up with our little ones, having some cheeky Proseccos and putting the world to rights. It’s been simple and ace.
We don’t always get to see each other much as we live in different counties, but when we do it’s like nothing’s changed, we laugh joke and prattle on about life’s ups, downs, trails and tribulations like we’ve never been apart.
The time we’ve spent together this weekend alongside a quick phone call natter with another friend who I’ve not see properly for a good five years (other than a quick encounter just over a year ago). Made me realise how sometimes it’s not always how often you see someone or how close you are in proximity. The success in a friendship is how well you truly know each other. How much time have you taken to get to know each other?
This thought has led me onto think about how I’ve people close to me who think they know me and make judgements or decisions and treat me I certain ways thinking they know me as a person. When actually they don’t, they’ve not taken the time to. They’ve made an assumption and continue to assume and then actually don’t know me or how I live my life at all.
I think this is mistake sometimes we all can make but it’s actually a pretty big one. It means you can inadvertently mis-treat someone or not offer the right kind of support. It actually puts a strain on your friendship or relationship because you don’t actually offer what’s needed. The fun and banter is off quilter and neither one of you is actually going to gain what you could from the friendship because your not able to give and take what each other need, and only what you think and assume each other wants and needs.
It means you don’t fully understand each other and each other’s interests and senses of humour. And yet when situations occur that makes this come to light, I’ve notice the people like this in my life, still continue to assume and not take the time to actually get to know me. Not actually take the time to listen, watch and learn about me as a person, but instead still continue to move forward with their own generated idea of what I’m like, what I think and how I feel.
People will always think they know, but unless we take the time, do we ever really?