So this is our first Valentine’s with Baby P. At one time Valentine’s was a big deal for me, I want me and the hubster to pull out all the stops and in our early days we did, we bought presents, went on spa days and out for slap up meals. Gradually this has faded out and become what some would refer to as more mundane. We’ve replaced meals out for home cooked meals in, gifts, cards and delivered flowers for post it notes on the fridge, silly texts and a netflix film.
My husband has always been rather cynical about Valentine’s, saying it’s over rated and a waste of money, that it’s for the card companies etc and all other stereotypical male derogatory comments. I used to get annoyed and say that it was important to me so that should be enough for him. However, why was it important to me? Well I was a lot younger then and a bit more naive and foolish. Looking back it was more about appearances and justifying our relationship, I wanted to give a romantic, happy couple image and thought that if we did all these things, all these big grand gestures and showers of gifts, trips and signs of affection then we were the ultimate happy couple. What a load of bull!!
In actual fact, a happy couple doesn’t need big expensive gifts and gestures-don’t get me wrong they are nice and I’m not saying that if and when you do these things then you’re not happy but what I am saying is that they aren’t essential! If I’m really honest, these things aren’t me at all, I’m quite a sensitive and sentimental person and the post it note stuck on the fridge that I came downstairs to this morning was overwhelming. Just like the hand knitted gifts people made for my daughter when she was born, the kinder egg my hubby sometimes hides in the egg box or the cup of tea brought up to me in bed every morning before he leaves for work. These are the gestures that really count, the thoughtful, effort making, “with you in mind” things that really say I love you.
Maybe it’s growing up and having a home and family that have altered my perspective, or maybe it’s how our relationship has grown, maybe it’s both but I realise now that I don’t need to make my relationship for show. I don’t need to use social media to post a collage of pics and tell the world how much we love each other, we just need to show it to one another which can be achieved without spending a fortune. In a practical sense as well, reducing these big expensive dates and presents has meant we can do more over the course of the year such as holidays across the pond to spend quality time with our nephews, brother and sister-in-law, we can maintain our monthly gym membership at the more expensive gym, we can go on grand family days out and make memories.
Therefore, I’m going to now tend to my stirring baby P who’s about to wake from her nap in any second, snuggle her, preheat the oven for our dine in for two meal and have a “mundane” Valentine’s and cherish these small things.