People told us our life was over when we had kids and that our social life would be non-existent. 8 weeks in I’ve actually found the opposite. Don’t get me wrong I don’t party in the night clubs until 4am anymore nor do we dine out at fancy restaurants on date nights anymore, but we do still socialise and in actual fact I feel like my social circle has expanded since being a mum.
Firstly, I’ve found I get chatting to people when out an about more than ever. Simple trips to the shop, bank, cash machine or pharmacy (they’ve asked me to call in regularly not just for prescriptions so they can see her grow) result in so many people stopping to peer into the pram and coo over baby P. And. I. Love. It! Showing off my beautiful daughter is the best ever, any coffee in a cafe, trip to a soft play centre with friends, wander round the local garden centre looking at Christmas lights fills me with pride as passers by compliment me on my little bundle. Little P loves it too and has grown accustomed to flashing her gummy smile and batting her long eyelashes right on cue.
Then there’s the mum friends I’ve got and am making. As I announced we were expecting, a few of my closest friends either had already declared the same or did so shortly after which has meant maternity leave has nicely coincided and enabled us to socialise plenty, sharing cuddles over coffee, joining in at baby yoga, baby sensory or simply strolling with the prams. Additionally, I’ve found it so easy walking into mum and baby groups and chatting to other new mums, sharing tips and gazing at each other’s pride and joy.
Yes my previous social like has changed, cocktails and wine in the pub or meals at the bistro and date nights in town have taken a back seat for awhile, but they’ve been replaced with coffee and cake and soup-a-mum’s in a church hall or sensory sights and sounds in a soft play. Would I change it though? Not at all, my life hasn’t ended, it’s altered and I’m sure I’ll miss aspects of life pre-miss P, longing for some more adult time and conversations at some points but the joy and pride she fills me with makes the new social life worthwhile.
If anything, I am enjoying throwing myself into the stereotypical motherhood social life (actively searching pushchair fit classes as I write) and I’m pleasant overwhelmed with how I enjoy a simple (I use that word tentatively as no trip out with a newborn is ever simple!) errand as it enables me to be filled with more pride and love than I could ever imagine. Even the ones where everything happens, she falls asleep on the car only to be sharply woken by the shutting of the door, then she does a poonami that requires a costume change in the dingiest of changing facilities or the back of the car! Yes even those little trips out where I feel like the flustered new mum trying to juggle my crying baby in a car seat, changing bag, car keys and parking ticket! Because even on those little trips she does something that makes me feel proud, like suddenly stopping crying and looking up at me like I’m her entire world or cutely falling asleep with her little hands peeping over the edge of her blanket like she’s holding on for dear life!
My life isn’t over and my social life isn’t non-existent, it’s just different, it’s changing and in reality it’s a new one that’s just getting started and I’m loving it!