I wrote this months ago, in fact I started to note down these thoughts in the airport on the way home, New Year’s Day. I never posted it but today a memory has made kick my blog back into action:
This phrase “it’s the best Christmas I’ve ever had” will most certainly make my mum and brother chuckle, it’s a key quote of my Dad’s and every year without fail he’d lift his glass of red at the dinner table, post turkey and stuffing, telling us all that, that year, “was the best Christmas he’d ever had!” Needless to say the following year would be and the year after, despite what ever we did.
So this year was the first without him, even though we’d had plenty over recent years where he’d been living over in India. This year he really wasn’t with us, there were no Skypes, phone calls, email or whatsapp messages. Nothing, because he’s not with us at all.
I anticipated it being difficult, I’d be struggling up to Christmas with the loss of my Dad and didn’t know what to expect over the festive period. Christmas has taken a big change for us over recent years and I think as a family we’re still settling into what our new traditions will be and what our Christmas’ will look like. However, this year was exactly what I wanted, family altogether.
We flew out to the states and spent Christmas at my brother’s, seeing my eldest nephew as a two year old, talking toddler and meeting my youngest for the first time. Boy did they make Christmas special, filling our time (and their nappies) with laughter, fun, tantrums and toys. They were everything little boys are and then some, we had two solid weeks of seeing those subtle changes as well as seeing the bigger ones.
It was brilliant, we all had a wonderful time, sometimes not doing anything particularly special, just a walk in the park or a film on the sofa but we were together and that’s all that mattered. So even though Dad wasn’t there and we miss him all the time, it taught me that we can keep up his legacy and have, “the best Christmas he’s ever had!”