It’s always too soon when someone passes, there’s always something you want to say or do and it’s never the right time. However, we couldn’t have wished for better timing, Dad was visiting after staying in the US with my brother and family, supporting them as their new arrival,my youngest nephew, was brought into the world. He’d got to see us all and was taken suddenly and quickly but having spent time with both his children, grandchildren, our spouses and my mum. It was like he’d seen everyone in person and wasn’t alone through his last days and moments. We were all in it together.

Something I’ve clung onto and have found comforting is that as Poppa M was going to sleep, the next generation of Ms was growing. Literally, within weeks another love of our lives was born, creating a new page and chapter in our family story, as an older one drew their storyline to a close. Almost like Poppa M was here to welcome in the new addition to the family, ensuring he was settled in, before leaving us and making way for the younger ones in the family to take the reigns. I’m a great believer in things happening for a reason and maybe, the universe worked in it’s unusual, mysterious ways to make a tradgic event occur in the easiest way it could.

There’s not doubt about the love and adoration my Dad had for his grandsons and as Christmas draws near and I find myself thinking more and more about my Dad, I also find comfort in the time I’ll spend over the festive season with my precious nephews.

Since the days Little L and little O arrived in my world I’ve adored them and my love for them is ever growing as they continue to amaze me (despite having yet to get my grubby mits on the youngest). I guess being able to enjoy quality time with them this Christmas reminds me of how lucky I am to have them and the family still with me. I’m relishing the moment to enjoy time with my older sibling and the rest of the M clan which is obviously hard to do when we’re an 11hr flight apart. It’s important to enjoy this time for Dad and through the eyes of Dad, enjoy the mini M’s as they play and watch on with not only my own affection but his too.

Christmas is a family time and family is very, very important to me and although grief is hard, I’m not letting it spoil or dampen my festive cheer. Poppa M loved Christmas, Poppa M loved family, Poppa M loved children and Poppa M loved his grandsons. So as I enjoy time with my family, especially my Californian boys, I’ll make sure we all have a good time for Dad. Merry Christmas Dad, this will be the best one you ever had!